A dance group.

Here are a few pictures that I took of a dance group my wife is in. Dances pictured: Kajelo, Saya, and another one I don't remember the name of.

Journal Post: Observation #6 Politics

I find myself in the rare circumstance that I haven't got anything pressing to write about (at least, not that I remember), so I shall talk about this guy.



Alan Garcia. A fatty and President of Peru.

The political scene here in Peru is, (in my humble opinion) crazy. The blog illustrating this had to come along eventually, so here goes.

#1 Problem- Obligatory voting. I think this is silly, and I am all for only letting landowners vote (even in the USA). This would limit the emotional/ignorant from voting the country to crap because they are uniformed and easily manipulated. The problem in Peru is that there are many uneducated people and they are FORCED to vote, like it or not, everyone votes. Therefore, people that have no clue generally vote for whoever had the best radio jingle or who promised them the most supposed benefits (and that's if they are somewhat interested, some merely vote according to the most visually appealing party symbol on the ballot, and there are many. You think that I am making this up, but I have asked people about their voting when I lived in the hills and that is what I was told.)

#2 Problem- The educated people are indoctrinated in the school system and because of a latent anti-US sentiment that permeates the whole of Latin America, there is a decided psychological thrust away from anything that has given the US it's past success. I.E.- Capitalism, Free Trade, Individual Rights and Responsibility, Limited Central Government and so forth. Oh sure, there are many that like these things and would like to see some of them implemented, but almost everyone has some irrational resentment of the US in the back of their minds. (Not to sound like an idiot gringo, but my personal theory is that there is a smidge of jealousy at the root of these sentiments.)

#3 Problem- This problem is the same in the states (and quite frankly, parts of the first two are becoming ever greater problems in the States). The problem is lack of interest in the young adults in politics and the general disbelief of all that the government serves the peoples interests. A good guy that I like in Tacna and I had a conversation not too long ago where he explained the "logic" behind the *paro* AKA transportation strike. It goes something like this: ¨The government is full of selfish bastards that only want to suck the all the funds they can and set themselves and their families up in positions of influence. As part of that, they (politicians) are eager to whore Peru out to every foreigner who comes along and willingly exports all of Peru to the highest bidder. In order for the people to get the government to do anything, they must strike, oftentimes violently, to get what they need/want. Therefore, the poor taxi drivers, truckers, and bus drivers need to not work for a period of time and also tear up roads, form mobs that destroy public and private property, etc when the gas prices get to high or when the government fails to construct a promised road etc.¨
Well. There is some truth in all that litany, but the fact of the matter is that the whole country walks in the murky gray area between anarchy and reluctant oligarchy that basically gives justice to none and priority to he who seizes it.
Things are a bit better than they have been in the not so distant past, however. And there are some positive signs of improvement.

Anywho, my case study to demonstrate some of the craziness, is Alan Garcia. He is the current President of Peru, but what is shocking is that he was president once before (1985-1990). His previous stint ws marked by one of the worst economic periods Peru has ever faced with extreme hyper inflation and loss of basic commodities across the country like light and water. Also there was a major terrorism problem with the group "Sendero de Luz" (the shining path). (The 80's was a really screwy time in Peru with terrorism).
So, his first try at President led to him being deposed and then exiled to Colombia and France.

They (the Peruvians) reelected him in 2006 (while I was here as a missionary) and guess what? I was glad. Not because I like Alan, quite frankly, I don't think he's all that great, but rather because he was the lesser of two evils. His main opponent was a guy named Ollanta Humala and he was REALLY crazy. Basically, another Hugo Chavez of Venezuela or Evo Morales of Bolivia. In short, an idiot- don't even get me started on Venezuela. So good ol' Garcia, he was the less extreme of the 2, and because he was elected, I finished my mission here instead of being kicked out of the country as Ollanta promised to do if elected.

If that's not fun enough for you, the serious candidates for next years election include a bi-sexual ex journalist who now is an author and successful talk show host, Jamie Bailey, a daughter of the infamous ex president Alberto Fujimori, and another ex- presedent named Toledo. It just doesn't get any better than this.

Journal Post: Son of Beach!

I've always loved the ocean. Maybe it's because I live in a land locked state, maybe it's because of the warm fuzzy memories of traveling to faraway exotic Chile when I was 8. Who knows, but this last weekend, I was having all the fun in the sun that I could stand. In fact, I am Red Lobster.In any event, I am going to bullet point some of the slide show for you.

First part: This is Mollendo, a beach and the closest ocean to Arequipa. (That and Camana, but I no nothing about that place.) The yellow building is the "Castillo", and it is cool but the wank who owns it lives somewhere and won't sell it to the city so it is in ruin and one day will fall. But it is well known as an icon of Mollendo and I have fond memories of seeing it as a missionary.

The beach is crowded, because it's summer vacation here.

The waves are for Joe, I was thinking he would enjoy all those pics.

There is a dog peeing on a tent, I just found that amusing.

There is me in the sand all burntastic.

There is my Hasselhoff run picture that I wanted to post, but Malu cut off my head and foot (in the picture, not literally), so you get red guy running.

There is a picture of a tiny crab, almost an awesome picture if I had focused it a centimeter farther back, ah well.

I have a scorpion tattoo, it's fake. I was playing around, there were bear claws on my little brother in law and a Chinese word on my wife. We were being silly.

I love listening to music on the beach. Relaxing stuff.

There is a guy with two buckets. Quick crash course for the beach in Peru. You show up at the beach, and then you find somebody to rent an umbrella from(if you don't have your own). This costs between 5 and 10 soles for the day. Then, you get chairs (often from the same people, you can also buy beer from them... of course). This can be 2 for 5 soles or 2 for 7 soles depending on where and what day (weekends cost more). Now, while on the beach, the waves of Mollendo are crappy and kind of dangerous, so you must be cautious swimming. While relaxing on the sand, you might buy an helado (ice-cream)from a passing vendor. Also available are picarones(batter rings in honey), alfajores (yummy pastry types with manjar) and a myriad of other edible things. You can even get seafood and it's really good. Even the ceviche, which I ate and guess what, http://peaksandpitfallsinperu.blogspot.com /2010/01/journal-post-diarrhea.html ... yep.
Anywho, the guy with the two buckets. Those buckets are full of sea water. He got that water from the sea... obviously, and he drug them across the burning sand to fill the small pool that he rented to the couple and the munchkin seated there. There is a picture of Malu and here cousins in such a pool.
This job would suck. All day, bucket brigade for little brats. I saw the guy and felt for him. There are also people that sell bubbles, inflatable toys, sand toys, newspapers, and sunblock wandering around. So there you go, I'm fried.

Also, The song I used for the slide show is Ben Harper/ Jack Johnson's cover of Bob Marely's "High Tide, Low Tide".

Candelaria continued: To find a bandanna...

I am bald. There is no denying it. I am as bald as Mr. Clean. My father: also bald. Bald is no problem for me, I bick my head every few days and never worry about shampoo. Puno doesn't seem to like bald people. The altitude/sun/wind/crazy weather seems to take a dim view of baldies. So, when I decided I was going to dance for several hours in the elements, I decided that I needed a bandanna to put on my head.

This was a good idea, but it turned out to be difficult to execute.

You would think a bandanna would be easy to find. WRONG. I didn't search for one seriously in Arequipa because I thought (erroneously) that I could easily locate one in Puno. For those of you who have never been to Puno, there are some good placed to buy junk. My favorite is the "Mercado de Bellavista" which is located fairly close to the dock where everyone goes to the Uros and right below the LDS Church of Lampa.(Which is why I was so familiar with it). The other name for this market is "contrabando", which means "contraband"... (duh). Anywho, as the name implies, that is where you will find your chocolates, booze, clothes, electronics in a comfortably bootlegged fashion. It was there I finally found ONE place that sold large bandannas that I could use to cover my head. (It was silky and silver and black and amazing, but that's beside the point.) First, I went to the Mercado Central. No luck. If you are in Puno, you can buy cloth there and a lot of other things but not anything as cool as contrabando. Than I tried Jiron Los Incas (The Incas Street), where you can find EVERYTHING dance related. It's just below the Mercado central and I bought many a bell there, as I have previously mentioned. I spent about two hours looking for the bandanna, but it was worth it.

While I'm on the subject, for you tourists:
You will be tempted to buy things in the Parque Pino, which is connected to the Plaza de Armas (the main plaza) by Jiron Lima. There are lots of artisan things there like:alpaca products,instruments like quenas and zamponas, jewelry, etc.
DON'T BUY HERE.
Also, when you go to Los Uros, which you will undoubtedly want to do, you will see the same types of stores (by stores I mean open air shops packed together in lines)\ that I just mentioned.
DON'T BUY HERE EITHER. (Although if you have to choose between the Plaza and the Dock the dock is cheaper.

There is a daily Feria de Artisinia (artisan fair) in a uglier, less central part of Puno. It is here that you will be able to buy the exact same things for much less, and the people are generally more grateful because they are the true people from the outskirts whom well meaning tourists wish to help when they buy merchandise in the center.
BUY HERE.
Any Taxi- Moto Taxi- Trici can take you there in less than five minutes and you will be able to buy more stuff for your soles.

Candelaria Cont.- Bells and Ribbons.

As a guy who is new to dancing Saya, I didn't know what to do about the bells (cascaveles) that are attached to the boots. I asked one of the guides (the people who dance in front of the group that order which sequence etc) what to do for the attaching string. He suggested ilera (shoe strings). Well, his suggestion sucked and I lost about 8 out of my 24 bells. The next day, I thought I was brilliant and bought some heavy coated wire to attach each bell. Well, I was even more foolish than the day before because I lost a LOT of bells. In fact, I only had one attached at the end and about 6 that I had recovered as they fell and stuffed down my shirt. I had a stomach that jingled for several blocks of the dance unfortunately. It was Tio Walker (Uncle Walker) who knew what was up. Upon hearing my plight, he suggested fishing line. I thought this was silly, but I went and bought a heavy test and wrapped about 10 loopes for each boot. In addition, I put electrical tape on the eye of every single bell. Guess what? It worked, I didn't lose a single bell. I have to laugh because the first day I put on 24 bells, the second, 20, and on the last day, 16. I was losing faith and getting tired of spending 60 plus cents a bell. (I was buying the nice ones because I was keeping my suit.)In any event, now I know, and so do you. Fishing line. That's the ticket.

Candelaria Continued.

Waiting.


I hate waiting.


I think that if I go to hell for dancing for the Virgin in an idolatrous fashion, it will consist of waiting for eternity (Probably in Macey's 10 items or less line behind some illiterate lady with 7 kids and 8,000 coupons, paying with a check and food stamps).

Waiting is just part of life here in Peru, maybe that's why the concept of an organized line is seldom executed successfully. For example, last week, when we were waiting for the costumes we needed to dance in, we were told to be at the Graveyard in Puno at 7:00 am sharp. Although I knew that it was foolish, Malu was worried (rightly so) about getting a size of shoe that wouldn't work for her, so we went at the appointed time. Along with 3 other suckers, we waited two hours before the guy (Fabio) who was in charge of the costumes for our group showed up. Then, we had to wait another 2 hours for the President of our group to show up. Finally, we had to wait for the people who were actually handing out the suits to decide that they wanted to hand them over and this occurred around 12:30 pm. 5 and a half hours alternately freezing in the shade or burning in the sun. That street was boring and there wasn't even anything cool to look at. Or food. Typical of dealing with things in Peru.
If you want to check out your phone bill or something of that nature, you get a number at one building in a city of over a million people. And then you wait. For some reason (I blame the Spanish colonizers) , the people here like things centered in one place without the comfort of multiple branches in various places (I'm speaking of major services like power, water, phone, etc.) So, when you need to find out why your cell phone is a piece, you have to wait at least an hour. Places where you will wait and hate life: Claro (cell phone), Telefonica (cable, internet, phone), Serpost (never have anyone send you a package), Sedapar (water bill), Sagafabella (any time you want to see a movie on a Tuesday- cheap day).
Anywho, when it comes to dancing, waiting is always part of it. We also waited during that same week 4 hours to start the general practice for everyone in our group (Lima, Tacna, Cuzco, Puno, and us). I could elaborate on all the places I have wasted tons of time, but I think I've made my point.

Journal Post, Observation # 5- Candelaria

Where have I been this last week you ask? Well, I will tell you. I have been in Puno, dancing way more than anyone should. Remember when I told you that I was going to do some dancing? Well, just a bit of back story. It is a bit complicated and in my opinion, kind of looney, but here goes. As far as I understand, there is a Virgin (miraculous appearance)in the Canary Islands and this Vigin was called Candelaria. Somehow, the same Virgin made an appearance in the mines in the Andean Highlands and now, every February, there is a huge festival to worship/celebrate/get super wasted. Now, I read a newspaper article here the other day that described this initial event in detail, but what most made me think is that the people of the regious (Aymara and Quechua) already worshiped a mother Earth figure and currently, they call the Virgin of the Candelaria "Mamacha Candelaria" or Mother Candelaria. Interesting, the splicing of pagan worship with Catholicism. Just my perspective. Anywho, nowadays, there is a rip roaring party for a week in which a LOT of people dance in intricate costumes and LOTS of musicians play (we're talking 50 people marching bands in abundance) and LOTS AND LOTS of BEER is consumed. My role in all of this had nothing to do with the Virgin,(which is a believe that I have always found silly) and nothing to do with getting stone drunk. My part in all of this was some intense dancing. For those of you who have never seen Saya, (or Caporales) dances, let me just say this. I have lost 14 pounds in the last two weeks. Yes, it is vigorous. And we are talking 4-5 hours daily dancing for 5 days straight. Yeah, it was quite a deal. There are many things I could write about Candelaria, and it will surely be the subject of many posts to come, but for today, I think I will cut this off with a picture.

Journal Post: Christmas Continued.

In the United States, the typical Christmas decor is an evergreen tree, (real or otherwise) decorated with lights, colorful bulbs, various ornaments, a star or angel on top, with the gifts piled underneath. Here in Peru, the tree is catching on, but what most generally takes place is what is called a 'nacimiento'. This is a really pimped out creche (if you want to know more about what this is, I wrote a story about it: http://universe.byu.edu/node/4629). In any event they construct their nacimientos in a lot of ways, but there are usually some boxes to start with. This gives the whole project height and depth. This they cover with some interesting paper, wrinkly, and painted a dark color with stars. (Although they can look like rocks, and also have stencils of wisemen, camels, etc., or even tie die). On top of this, they have a Nativity scene that usually features largish figures of varying size, many kind of largish. Like the states, these are collect-able and can be passed down through the generations. There is a certain day after Christmas designated as "La Bajada de los Reyes" which refers to the coming of the wise men. This is where groups of children dress up as the three wise men and go from house to house to worship (venerate?) the nacimientos. It is customary to give them some change or candy, or perhaps chocolate or paneton (which is it's own post. Something I enjoy about the tradition estilo Peruano, is that it is a lot closer to the what Christmas should be about. The tree of us Gringos has roots (hows that for a cool word trick, metaphor?) in paganism. The druids of Europe were big on the evergreen and it's symbolism is varied. But in the end, today we throw up a tree, lavish it with artificial trappings, and display our wealth by stacking as many gifts as possible underneath. I think that this is a large monument in the wrong direction. But hey, I love gifts too, so I will keep using the tree. But in light of what I have observed here, it will be in the corner, and my nacimiento will be somewhere central> and thus I can maintain my summer residence in Babylon :).

Also, the picture of the plate goes with the previous post. This is what I ate for Christmas.

Journal Post: Christmas.

Copied from notes around the 25th of December 2009.

What do you do for Christmas dinner? Turkey of course, at least here in Peru. Turkey everywhere. For us in the USA, Turkey is a Thanksgiving food, and ham or something else better suited for Christmas. But hey, here there is no Thanksgiving (that would be silly), so the big turkey meal is on Christmas. Basically, Christmas goes thusly: the 24th, there is a big meal around midnight. The kids open the presents. The talking and the family socializing goes on till the wee hours. And drinking of course.
In difference to our going to bed, and then getting up early to open gifts and than eating a large lunch or dinner the 25th.
For my Christmas experience, I got to go to both of my wife's family get togethers (her parents are divorced). There was lots of food, conversation and such. I was given some cologne, and a tie. I thought it was snazzy. We didn't get back from the second one until 4 in the morning.
More on the turkey, it came in with it's head attached. There was a strange stuffing made out of meat, and the accompanying salad was some beans called avas. That was the meal, and I enjoyed it. Although, they (my mother in law) tried to kill me with a colossal portion of turkey.

Journal Post: Observation #4 Coca Cola

Here in Peru and also Chile, the non alcoholic beverage of choice is Coca Cola. I have drank Coke almost every day I've been here. I don't even like Coke. Luckily, the Coke here tastes better for some reason. I don't know why, but I have heard it is because of a difference in the water. This I don't believe. I have also heard it is because here they use real sugar as sweetener as opposed to corn syrup. This I do believe. But whatever the reason, they like their Coke, and drink it warm. Also Fanta, Sprite, and other assorted coke products. Thankfully, there is basically no Dr. Pepper or Mr. Pibb, which I hate. Also, not too much by way of Pepsi products either. (So no Mt. Dew, sadly). I haven't been a big soda drinker since the mission, but now and then, you need something caffeinated. There are some sodas here, however, that aren't common in the States. Inca Cola, for example. It is yellow, and not that good (in my opinion, I know plenty of folks, Latin and otherwise, that quite like it). Also, a red pop called, Kola Escoses (Scottish Cola?) It is also not that great.
In general, I suggest you look into Tampico, Watts, or Frugo brand juices. They are delicious and are generally as cheap as soda.
While we are discussing beverages, there is a delightful drink called ECCO made from cebada tostada (toasted barley) which tastes a bit like coffee (from my iniquitous youth). It's ok as "refresco" (refreshing drink? basically anything made in house to quench thirst: lemonade, chicha morada, etc.) which is warm or cool and usually involves a dash of lemon. But ECCO really shines as a hot drink with sugar and milk (but not too much milk, and we know why).
Other good things are raspadillas (shaved ice), cremoladas (fruit pulp with ice), and any fruit drink with milk. (But be careful)Leche de Platano is awesome, but if you don't drink it quickly, it will turn black on you, which is kind of nasty.
I could use a slurpie from 7-11 though. And a taquito.
Anywho, there is a demo of the drink. Also, there are still lots of glass bottles in rotation, which is something of a novelty from what I recall of the States.